Online dating is no longer a novelty or phenomenon on the Internet. Its a segment of the Internet that is growing bigger everyday. New sites are continually being developed and introduced. Currently existing sites are upgrading and becoming more sophisticated. While all of that is great news for the users of these sites, just about all of the same challenges, difficulties, and frustrations are still prevalent.I am the author of “Let’s Meet Our Match” – Your Complete Guide to Success in the World of Internet Dating. In the book I describe all of these and other problems you will need to overcome, steps for you to get past them, and how to make your online dating experience more pleasant and ultimately successful. My book shares with you some of my personal experiences and things I have learned throughout my journey. You will also learn how I was able to minimize and even eliminate most of those challenges, difficulties, and frustrations.
Being in relationships is at the very core of our existence as human beings whether it be family or friends. The need to feel “connected” may be our most powerful human emotion. While this is true there is a negative side to this, as well. Those emotions can cause us to act and behave in ways that we normally would not. An article this past month in my local newspaper clearly demonstrates this point.
It seems a lady became “involved” with a man through an Internet dating site. After a period of online conversation, the subject of meeting in person was discussed. The man revealed this would be nearly impossible because he was currently residing in Ghana and was stuck there without any money. Having become emotionally attached to this person (through nothing more than pictures and online conversation), and not having enough money of her own, she proceeded to take extraordinary steps to raise it for him. She occupied a position you might call bookkeeper/administrator for a middle-school cheerleading squad. This position gave her access to several thousands of dollars. The news of her arrest alleges that she embezzled nearly $10,000 from the cheerleader’s funds and wired it to this man from Ghana.
Sadly, this story is not new and has existed from the inception of Internet dating sites. As the years have passed and experiences such as these have been shared, we have learned to be aware of the warning signs. Its obvious this lady did not heed the “red flags” that are so common in these incidences. Its possible she never bothered to investigate this man or the validity of his story. You may be saying to yourself, “How could anyone be so stupid to…?”. I can assure you that intelligence or someone’s IQ has little, if anything, to do with being a victim in one of these scenarios. This lady was a trusted member of her community and was given an important position of responsibility based primarily on her intelligence and capabilities. This type of tragedy equally crosses the line of gender. Men have been victimized exactly the same way as frequently as women.
The solution to avoiding these types of disasters is incredibly simple and easy. It can even be applied to many of your other activities unrelated to Internet dating. Its a method I call, “The 3 Takes” and these are the steps:
1 - Take a step back
2 - Take a deep breath
3 - Take a moment to THINK!
Pretty simple, right? Yet, how many times in our lives have we made choices or decisions that we seriously regret, and wish we could “do over”, if only we had allowed ourselves to think the situation through more clearly? How many choices or decisions have we made where our emotions completely overtook our common sense and prevented us from being logical? An excellent example of this could be when you have made major purchases such as a car or house. The best salespeople try to ascertain what are your “hot buttons” (for example: the color of the car or the number of bathrooms in the house). They will try to exploit those “feelings” in an attempt to persuade you that this is the best deal for you and your needs. You may also be told they have other buyers lined up, and “your” car or house will be gone if you don’t move quickly, while trying to convince you they have your best interests at heart. Their objective is for you to become “emotional”. The LAST thing a salesperson wants to hear is, “Let me think it over”.
This is exactly why it is crucial for you to allow your instincts and common sense to prevail when you are confronted with the challenges, difficulties, and frustrations that are a part of Internet dating. You will see pictures that attract you (the biggest “hot button”) and a profile narrative that may draw you in even more. Its painfully obvious that’s what happened to the cheerleading squad’s bookkeeper. She was initially attracted to his pictures and he said everything she wanted to hear. Her emotions completely overtook her common sense. So much so, that she became willing to do something/anything in order to meet the “man of her dreams”. Her life may never be the same again.
"I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!"
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