Online dating websites have been with us almost from the beginning of the Internet itself and since that time they have continued to grow, multiply, and flourish. Millions of people, at one time or another, have taken advantage of what these sites offer and have found the person they now call their “soulmate”. But from the start, there were stigmas attached to these websites and the people that used them. ”Desperate” was a word you would often see and hear used unfairly to describe the people that utilized these sites. It also didn’t take long before it was discovered there were people who used these sites to take advantage of sincere users which, of course, only added to those stigmas.In our fast-paced, hi-tech world of today, more and more people are turning to Internet dating and social networking websites every day to find friends and to create new relationships. Young people have embraced this technology and use it continually, while “baby-boomers” are still somewhat hesitant and to a certain degree, reluctant to openly admit to their participation. I am still surprised when I look at someone’s profile and the first line of their narrative says something like, “I can’t believe I am doing this”, or “I never thought I’d find myself on an Internet dating site”. If you were to read between the lines, it’s easy to assume they are really saying, “I never thought I’d see the day where I have to resort to THIS”.
Recently, a new television “reality” show about online relationships has created a “buzz” and has been receiving a lot of attention. Also, a highly publicized Internet fraud that involved a young football player from Notre Dame University has been making headline news. What you see and hear, along with how the information has been presented, could certainly fall into a category of the stigmas that hover over Internet dating and social networking websites.
The premise of the MTV production of “Catfish” is to focus on people who portray themselves in one particular way, and at the ”moment of truth” (a face-to-face meeting with the person they have been communicating) reveal themselves to be someone or something else entirely and nowhere near what they have led that person to believe. The show seeks to exploit and display the emotional reactions that take place once this meeting happens and the truth reveals itself. Jerry Springer has been doing similar episodes on his show for years. While a show like this is fun to watch and very entertaining (the show has developed quite a following and has been renewed for another year of production) it really only represents a tiny percentage of those who use Internet dating sites. The methods used by the individuals to entice the other person are fairly well-known and can be detected rather easily. Myself, or someone like me, could see the pattern of communication and would sense rather quickly something was “fishy”.
As for Manti Te’o, the young football player from Notre Dame University and his supposed “relationship” with a woman he had never met in person, many of the same tell-tale signs that something wasn’t right would have been fairly obvious. As of this moment we are still waiting for all of the facts to be revealed. Had he asked me to look at or listen in on the conversations that took place, I would have surely told him to “bail out” on this person and move on. But, then his story wouldn’t have blown up like it did and he wouldn’t have gotten all of that face-time with Katie Couric.
There is no denying that online dating sites (and to a lesser degree, social networking sites), have opened up a whole new world of possibilities for meeting that one special person you have always hoped to find. While it’s true that many of the problems and difficulties of using dating sites still exist, they aren’t nearly as prevalent as they once were. The never-ending flow of information through various means such as books, blogs, forums, and websites, along with people anxious to share their experiences in a variety of ways, has created a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips. I highly recommend that you take advantage of these resources so you can avoid the things that have happened to others.
Here are some things to keep in mind:
1 – The stigmas associated with Internet dating are fading away. Being a user of Internet dating sites has definitely become “mainstream” and will only continue to become more-so as time goes forward.
2 – Take advantage of the information available to you. Things such as books, blogs, forums, and websites all contain valuable information that you can use to make your Internet dating experience easier, more pleasant, and less difficult. It’s become much easier to detect who is not real or sincere.
3 – Listen to your instincts. The absolute best way to avoid any kind of difficulties is to listen to your brain. The moment you sense you are not getting straight answers and begin having questions about someone, and whether they are real and/or sincere, is your brain telling you to move forward with caution or to back away. Your brain and instincts will never lie to you. It really is that simple.
"I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!"
After deciding to enter into the world of Internet dating, there are some simple steps you can take that will make your journey much easier and your experiences more pleasant. Most likely, your first big decision will be which dating website(s) to choose along with trying to determine which site(s) you think will offer you the best chance for success. While there are a multitude of options, ranging from “general” sites with millions of users/members/subscribers to very specialized sites that cater to a select group of people, finding the one(s) that will suit your needs and desires really isn’t as difficult as it might appear. There are a variety of ranking/rating services that provide good information you can use to aid in your choices. Many of these will include reviews from actual users of dating sites that you may want to consider.
When online dating and social networking websites are statistically grouped together, there is no question they comprise the largest segment of the Internet. The advent of the Internet, and it’s ongoing evolution, continues to give all of us the ability to reach out to each other in a variety of ways. We are social “animals” by nature, with the need to feel “connected” to others being one of our most powerful instincts.
