A while back, a sports talk radio station in Tampa, Fla. set up an "online dating challenge" pitting the producer of the early morning show vs. the producer of the mid-morning show. The contest was about who could create the best online dating profile and attract the best date. Being a listener to the station and hearing this, I brought a copy of my book to them and volunteered my expertise to assist in any way I could. A short time later I was a call-in guest to the mid-morning show.
During the call, the host's first comments and questions were focused on the type of pictures his producer/contestant should include on his profile. One of those was whether he should appear in a sleeveless shirt or even "bare-chested" in any of his profile pictures, (my suggestion was that he use some nice "head" shots, along with pictures of him at work, perhaps doing a "remote" while wearing his headphones). Another question was whether he should "fudge" his height, weight, build, and/or appearance. My response to both questions was "No". (In fairness to the host, he is happily married and has never been a user of online dating sites. He was simply trying to get his guy a "competitive edge"). Meanwhile, this conversation got my wheels turning and I began to think how vital our eyes are to everything in our lives.
After having read so many ladies' profiles over the years, I have seen many that say something like, "I am not interested in seeing you without a shirt on" (this is the G-rated version). So many in fact, that it's reasonable to assume even more women feel that way without disclosing it on their profile, even if you think you are the next "Arnold". I have also seen as many, if not more, that include various statements that can be summed up in four simple words, "NO pictures, NO response". So, not only do the ladies request or require pictures, they demand them. As for "fudging" any of your physical characteristics, you seriously run the risk of a negative first impression, which means you are most likely going to have a "one and done" first date. Your entire profile should reflect who and what you are as accurately as possible for the reason that it is what will attract someone to you in the first place. The response you want to strive for is, "You look exactly like your pictures", or, "You look even better in person than your pictures". You certainly don't want "disappointment", or worse, to be someone's initial reaction when you meet face-to-face for the first time.
Here's why pictures and the information you provide are so important on your dating profile:
1 - Of the five senses humans possess, our ability to see and visualize is the most powerful. Our eyes send more signals and messages to the brain than any of our other senses. We use them to qualify and verify everything we come in contact with and whatever is going on around us. Imagine for a moment that someone asks you to close your eyes and taste something. What is your immediate response afterwards? You instinctively want to open your eyes and see what it is you have tasted. Another example is when you touch something that feels strange without looking. Your eyes will instantly focus on that object faster than you can think about it. The same can be said for a sound you hear or perhaps you catch a whiff of something in the air. The automatic response is to qualify and verify with your eyes anything/everything that has triggered your other senses.
2 - Advertising, Architecture, Art, Design, Marketing, Sales, etc. These are all things that at their core are meant to trigger a positive response by visual means. Of course that response can vary from one person to the next, but the idea is to create something that is "eye-catching". For example, an important aspect of a house for sale is it's "curb appeal", which is all about how the house looks and will be seen by a prospective buyer. Any creative endeavor will have at it's root the importance of how the final result or product will appear to people and attempt to evoke a certain reaction or emotions. In the case of marketing and/or sales, it will be to visually "lure" you into a purchase.
3 - Online dating websites function like "catalogs". When we view a catalog we tend to "scan" or "page" through it until we come across something that catches our eye or we find exactly what we are looking for, and once we do, only then will we take the time to read the description. Ordinarily, we don't waste time looking at housewares or appliances when we want to find sporting goods or clothing. The structure of online dating sites basically works in the same way. Generally, the user will "scroll", "page", or "scan" through profiles (usually presented in some abbreviated form) until a picture grabs their attention and that's when they will read the profile narrative attached to that picture.
4 - Some things to keep in mind for your profile pictures. Your main or primary profile picture is the most important. It's the one that will be seen the most and is shown to other site users when they are searching in the "catalog" mode. An up-close and clear face shot is best for this (and you can never go wrong with a nice smile). "Selfies" in the mirror are Ok, but you should only use them to fill out your profile album, or until you can get better ones to include. (Hint: One of the complaints I have heard many times over the years is that people get tired of seeing the same faces. If you routinely change or update your primary photo it will generate more views to your profile. Many dating sites create an "announcement" when someone updates their photos or adds new ones).
When viewing someone's profile, what type of pictures appeal the most to you?
“I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!”
Christopher T. Smith is an online dating consultant and the author of Let’s Meet Our Match – Your Complete Guide to Success in the World of Internet Dating. His book shares many of the experiences he has had as an actual user of Internet dating sites. His valuable expertise and advice has helped many people overcome the difficulties of online dating to have a more pleasant, happier, and stress-free experience. To learn more about Christopher and the book, you can visit his website: LetsMeetOurMatch.com 
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