Let’s take a look at how you can create an attractive, interesting, and informative written narrative for your Internet dating profile. I’m going to show you a simple way to get started and how you can write a pleasant, easy-to-read description of yourself and who you are hoping to find. You don’t need to write your autobiography, nor have to be Jackie Collins or Ernest Hemingway, and you don’t need to write “War and Peace, Part II”, to have a nice online dating profile narrative.For many, trying to write a type of “essay” in an “open” format (no little boxes to check off or multiple choice responses), to describe themselves with the hopes of attracting someone to them, can be a little intimidating. Where do I start? What do I say? What about me would interest someone else? These questions, and many more, are what we ask ourselves when we are faced with the task of having to describe who we are, our lives and lifestyle, and who we hope to meet.
So often I will see people use opening lines such as: “I really don’t know where to start…”, “I’m really not sure what to say here…”, or “I’m not very good at writing about myself…”. While you may be having the same thoughts, these are lines that do not have any real meaning to the person reading your profile. In fact, this type of opening line just takes up your narrative space and can have a sort of negative effect, where the reader may say to himself/herself, “blah, blah, blah”. Since an opening line can set the tone for the rest of your profile narrative, perhaps something like: “This is a brand new adventure for me and I am excited about the possibility of meeting someone special” would be a better way to get started.
Having read many profiles during my experience as an online dating site user, I have drawn some conclusions about written profile narratives that I would like to pass along. One of the things I see people do most frequently is attempting to use their profile narrative, or parts of it, to prevent contact from someone they would consider undesirable. It’s true there are many people using online dating sites who will not fit your criteria for a suitable match. But trying to use your profile narrative, regardless of how you word it, as a way to “shield” against unwanted contacts is essentially a waste of your narrative space and can create a negative perception of you. I have seen several profiles where the entire narrative is devoted to this kind of “undesirable contact prevention”. Some of them are entirely too negative and even quite harsh, making them difficult to read, and can make the user appear more interested in keeping people away. It’s worth noting here that the sites themselves are not “structured” to take into account how you word your profile narrative as a means for adding to or narrowing down your match criteria.
Something else I see people do when creating their profile is attempt to “fudge” the facts a little. One example of this you may see is an age at the top of someone’s profile (part of the standard information required and posted by utilizing a site’s format), only to have the person proclaim in their narrative they are a different age attempting to draw interest from a certain age group. Another thing you may see is someone not entirely truthful about their physical appearance or their current relationship status. The point to this is that for now, and the forseeable future, dating sites function by using a type of ”honor code” system and it’s presumed you, or a person you are interested in, is being truthful and honest about all of the information that is provided.
What you need to keep in mind is that if you choose to “not let the facts get in the way of a good story”, you could potentially run the risk of having to divulge the truth to someone you are meeting for the first time. If you are serious about starting a new relationship you want to get off on the right foot. You should realize that first impressions can be the most lasting. The best relationships have a solid foundation of truth and honesty and someone’s credibility is never questioned. Think of how you would feel when, upon your first ever meeting with someone, you discover they have ”bent” the truth and are not exactly what their profile narrative would have you believe.
Here’s a simple, 3 paragraph method for getting started to create an interesting, attractive, and pleasant profile narrative:
Paragraph #1 – Provide a description of you and your personality.
Paragraph #2 – Talk about things you like, your interests, and activities you enjoy.
Paragraph #3 – Describe your ideal relationship and what you would bring to it, along with the type of person you hope to find.
So much of today’s information is disseminated in “bits” and “bytes” and our attention span has become geared to that. It seems that unless we set aside a dedicated period of time for reading, such as a book or newspaper, we are more likely to “scan” than we are to read. The point I’m making here is that you should try and create your profile narrative in such a way as to be fairly brief and concise. Focus on the parts of you and your life that you feel are most important for someone else to know. Once there is contact and some level of communication begins between you and a “prospect”, you can discuss things with each other in further detail.
"I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!"
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