More and more of us are tuning into the MTV reality show Catfish every week. The basic premise of the show is to follow people who have established communications, and believe they have created a “connection”, by way of online dating/social networking websites. The main feature of the show is what results when the two people are finally able to meet in person, face-to-face for the very first time. The show’s popularity is such that new episodes are scheduled for next year. Many TV networks have their own variety of shows in the “reality” genre and are constantly exploring possibilities for new ones. It seems we can’t get enough of how people cope or deal with what happens when they are put into unique situations (regardless of whether those situations are real or contrived). I suppose it touches the same nerve that won’t let us take our eyes off a bad car accident.What Catfish brings to light is the people who have created fake identities on the Internet and are looking to take advantage of other users. Their motives can range anywhere from simply seeking attention all the way to outright extortion. The show also reveals the anger, disappointment, and/or heartbreak of the victims once they discover they have been duped or scammed. Once the truth comes out, viewers immediately bring into question the victim’s intelligence. The reality is that overall intelligence has little, if anything, to do with being “catfished”. I know of several instances where someone who has a normal or even high IQ has been victimized in some way by ”catfishing”.
On his show this past week Dr. Phil had a guest named “Angie” (Feb. 20th, 2013. You can view it on Dr. Phil’s website). I watched this show closely and by all accounts, Angie seemed to be a perfectly normal and reasonably intelligent lady. Angie got herself tangled up with a guy named “Danny” through the Internet. In a nutshell, this person calling himself Danny (who claimed to be in South Africa on a construction project), had won her over to the point where Angie cashed in her children’s life insurance policy and sold her grandmother’s diamond ring so she could send him money. The grand total came to $187,000. Dr Phil read that amount out loud and the studio audience gasped in disbelief. Dr. Phil’s investigative staff was able to uncover information about Danny and prove that everything he had told Angie was a lie and whatever documentation he had provided her was fake (it’s evidence that would hold up in a court of law). Even in the face of all this, Angie was undeterred and insisted Danny was real. You can see the audience just look on in horror as she continues to defend Danny and, in spite of what she’s being told, still believe there’s going to be a happy ending. I imagine we will be seeing more shows like this in the near future because of the popularity of Catfish and the headlines made by Manti Te’o (the Notre Dame football player hoaxed by a man posing as a woman).
As humans we are “ruled by our emotions”. Time and again we find ourselves in situations where we have let our emotions overwhelm our common sense and logic. It’s part of our makeup and an internal battle that we constantly wage, particularly when it comes to choices or decisions. Feeling connected or sharing a bond with other humans is also an essential part of our lives. This is even more true when it comes to someone that we believe could potentially become our “soulmate”. We can be so anxious to have that person in our lives, that all too frequently we are willing to “suspend reality” (or worse) in order to make it happen. It is these very emotions that the catfish people use to their own advantage. It can become extremely difficult to let your IQ take over when your heart is racing.
Here are some more tips to protect yourself from “catfishing”:
1 – Watch for ANY mention of “foreign country”. The catfish people may use an American city to indicate where they are supposedly from, but will then add that at the moment they are “temporarily” in a foreign country for reasons like a job of some kind or tending to a sick or older relative. This is an instant warning sign or ”red flag”. If you continue communicating with someone like this, you might ask them simple questions to determine their validity. For example, I recently read where a lady was talking with someone who claimed to be from St. Louis. When she asked him if he had ever seen or visited the “Arch”, he had no clue what she was talking about. Goodbye!
2 – Their correspondence goes WAY overboard with emotions and flattery. They like to fill their emails to you with words, quotes, and expressions that are so “over the top” that not even Hallmark would consider using them. If their very first email to you reads something like, “I fell deeply in love with you the moment I saw your picture and know we are meant for each other through eternity” and your heart starts beating rapidly, take a step back, a deep breath, and maybe a cold shower.
3 – They reveal that they are dealing with a dire or desperate financial situation. This is no doubt the biggest “red flag” of them all! The instant the word “money” is introduced in any form to your conversation, RUN away. Don’t walk and do not hesitate for a moment to close the conversation. Delete anything and everything related to that person. If you have given out your phone number, DO NOT take any more calls from them EVER, and if they insist on trying to contact you incessantly, you may have to consider changing your number. This also holds true for email addresses and/or being contacted through a website.
Your most valuable asset is your IQ. Use it wisely and often so your pounding heartbeat doesn’t take over and let you make a mistake you will regret like Angie!
"I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!"
Have you watched the new MTV reality show Catfish yet? It debuted on November 12, 2012 and has become very popular. If you have not seen or heard about it the basic premise of the show is arranging for people to finally meet one another face-to-face, who up until that very moment, have only known each other through the use of online dating/social networking websites and/or telephone, and believe they have a "relationship". The show then let's the viewer see the immediate reaction of the two people meeting for the very first time and the results. The end of the show follows up on the people, the decisions both have made, and how they will move forward based on their meeting. Each episode has it's own unique conclusions.
When it comes to creating your profile on an Internet dating site, the one element that will absolutely have the most impact and certainly draws the most attention, are the pictures you choose to display. While many of us may wish that wasn’t the case, I’ll explain why it is a major part of utilizing online dating sites for some very simple, basic reasons.
Let’s take a look at how you can create an attractive, interesting, and informative written narrative for your Internet dating profile. I’m going to show you a simple way to get started and how you can write a pleasant, easy-to-read description of yourself and who you are hoping to find. You don’t need to write your autobiography, nor have to be Jackie Collins or Ernest Hemingway, and you don’t need to write “War and Peace, Part II”, to have a nice online dating profile narrative.