How About We....?

While searching through one of the online dating websites where I am a member, an ad for a site called HowAboutWe.com (as in "How about we go see a movie?" or "How about we go out for dinner tonight?") popped up and caught my eye. Apparently it has existed for a couple of years or more, but I had never seen or heard of it until now. I clicked on the ad to see what it was all about.

HowAboutWe.com created a dating website that is focused on great first date "ideas". In other words, their central theme is matching people based on a variety of things that people could do together on a first date. You can look at a list of these various date ideas, select the ones that interest you, and then see who else likes the same things. After the standard sign-up process, you are asked to submit your own ideas for first dates. The date possibilities can range from simple things like going to different festivals, renting a convertible for the day and taking a "road trip", to something like buying Tarot cards and spending time together learning how to use them (you could also substitute many other "learning" experiences to share). Needless to say, the possibilities are endless and only limited by your imagination. Another big difference and something else I have never seen before, is this site also allows couples or people already in relationships to join for discovering unique/unusual date ideas and activities.

Reviewers like the structure of the site, it's neutral colors, fewer ads, and easy navigation. Like most other dating websites, the initial sign-up is free but your access is limited to the basic functions. For things like sending or viewing emails, seeing if the email you've sent has been received or read, or who has viewed your profile, etc. you will need your plastic.

Several complaints I've heard over the years about Internet dating sites is that there's very little creativity or anything new that comes along. HowAboutWe.com is certainly taking a different approach to matching people by creating memorable first dates and placing less emphasis on physical attraction. To a certain degree, this is similar to how eHarmony.com attempts to match people based on compatibility.

I think it's great that sites come along with different or alternative ways for us to meet and connect with people and there is truly a place for them in the online dating world. Perhaps by planning a unique first date it can make meeting someone new a bit less stressful and have conversation flow much easier. However, I still believe that our human instinct for physical attraction (chemistry) is what determines how much of a future there will be with the person you have met.

What are some ideas you might have for a great first date?

Here are some things to consider when choosing what dating sites you will use:

1 - Niche dating sites offer an alternative way to meet people.  By having a "theme" of some kind, niche dating sites make it much easier to find someone that will share the same level of interest or enthusiasm for an activity, hobby, or occupation that you have. Sharing something in common right from the start can make getting to know one another more comfortable and a more pleasant experience. The downside to using niche dating sites is they have far less members than the "general" dating sites, so there will be fewer potential matches. Users of these sites will sometimes complain about the lack of "activity" that is generated. Their membership fees can also be a bit "pricey".

2 - Create your own "niche" with your profile narrative.  If there is an element of your life that is important, necessary, or essential for your new partner to know and/or share with you, then you can emphasize that in your profile narrative. You might even include things on your "bucket list". A truly interested person will take the time to read your entire profile and will then know what matters most to you. By contact/communication you can both decide if you have the foundation for a relationship and whether you are going to meet in person.

3 - The larger dating sites are adding "bits & pieces" from the niche sites.  Many of the large, general dating sites are incorporating elements you will see being used by niche dating sites. Things such as questions relating to "chemistry" and/or "compatibility". Some sites may ask you to describe your ideal first date. The point is that while niche dating sites have a valuable place in the online dating community, the larger sites see the importance of helping you find a potential match best suited to your needs.

4 - If you are thinking of joining a new site, see what Google has to say.  For any dating site you are considering, go to Google search, type in the name, and add the word "reviews". You will see websites dedicated to reviewing online dating sites. You can also learn what other users have to say about their experience using any particular site. In order to get the best pricing, many dating sites require you to join for a specified length of time. It's worth the time and effort to learn as much as you can about any particular site before joining and possibly wasting your money. With Internet dating sites, there is something for everyone and you want to find what will work best for you.

“I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!”

Christopher T. Smith is an online dating consultant and the author of Let’s Meet Our Match – Your Complete Guide to Success in the World of Internet Dating. His book shares many of the experiences he has had as an actual user of Internet dating sites. His valuable expertise and advice has helped many people overcome the difficulties of online dating to have a more pleasant, happier, and stress-free experience. To learn more about Christopher and the book, you can visit his website: LetsMeetOurMatch.com