Is It Time For Some "Spring Cleaning"?

Spring is a favorite season for many people. It's a time of renewal when temperatures are warming, flowers begin blooming, the leaves and grass become green again, and we begin to think more about outdoor activities. It's said that Spring is also the season where our thoughts turn more to love and romance. Spring is also the time we know as the season for cleaning.

Perhaps Spring is also a time to do some "cleaning" when it comes to our Internet dating profile. Maybe it's a time for you to go back and review your dating profile with a "fresh set of eyes".  For example, you may want to update your activities or maybe you have discovered a new-found interest that you would like to share. Have you taken some pictures recently that might give your profile a fresh, new look? There are several things you can do that may bring new "visitors" to your profile and liven up your online dating experience.

Here are some tips for doing a "Spring cleaning" on your dating profile:

1 - Add new pictures and delete old ones.  The simple truth is that pictures generate more interest than any other element of your dating profile. You may have even said to yourself on occasion "I'm so tired of seeing the same people and the same old faces". Freshen up your profile with new pictures that show you as up close and clearly as possible. While you may have "group" or "activity" shots that look great, the viewer doesn't want to try and pick you out of a crowd. Your dating profile also isn't the best place for a "family album" or "travel brochure".

2 - "Honesty is the best policy".  I know, a tired old cliche, but a valuable point to always remember. The one word that appears in more profiles than any other I have seen, when someone is describing the type of person or relationship they hope to find, is "honesty". Not being completely honest and truthful about yourself and your life just doesn't make any sense. Clean up the things where you may have "bent" or "stretched" the truth. You are going to meet someone in person at some point for what you hope could be the start of a new life. Think how you would feel or react if you discovered some level of dishonesty or even a flat-out lie.

3 - Do some proofreading and editing.  One of the things that will jump out at someone reading your profile is if it contains grammar or spelling mistakes. Spellcheck is one of the most valuable tools on your computer and a great way to "spruce up" your profile. If the site(s) you are utilizing doesn't offer it, then compose your profile somewhere that does. Simply copy and paste it into the appropriate place after you've finished. It's a little detail that can make a big difference.

4 - Is your profile easy to read?  One of the best things you can do is create a profile narrative that "flows". We live in an age where we want our information as simply and as quickly as possible. You want to avoid having a profile where the reader starts to "scan" with their eyes and stops reading. Perhaps one way to view writing your profile is to think "pamphlet". My book describes a 3 paragraph method for writing a profile that works perfectly for you and the reader, and you can clean out anything that's not really necessary.

5 - Maybe a friend could help.  Any kind of cleaning chore is never a lot of fun. But it may go easier if you have a friend to help you along the way. Have someone that knows you well and can be somewhat objective view your profile and pictures. Friends have a tendency to see us a bit differently than we see ourselves and may offer you great advice for what you should include or remove from your profile and the pictures you should use.

Are there any other things you could do to give your profile a "Spring cleaning"?

"I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!"

Christopher T. Smith is an online dating consultant and the author of Let's Meet Our Match - Your Complete Guide to Success in the World of Internet Dating. His book shares many of the experiences he has had as an actual user of Internet dating sites. His valuable expertise and advice has helped many people overcome the difficulties of online dating to have a more pleasant, happier, and stress-free experience. To learn more about Christopher and the book, you can visit his website: LetsMeetOurMatch.com

Will That "First Date" Also Be a "Last Date"?

With how big Internet dating has grown and become such a prominent part of so many of our lives, it stands to reason there would also be a huge growth in the number of ways to find information and advice on how to be a successful user of those websites. In my desire to help people, I continually search for various advice columns, blogs, videos, etc., along with sharing my personal experiences, to find things I can pass along to make the process go smoother and easier.

I recently came across a dating advice column written by a lady named Erika Ettin. She is the founder of "A Little Nudge", and she listed several things you want to avoid doing on a first date (you may want to avoid several of these things on ANY date, regardless of the ”number”). Many of these “tips” don’t need a lot of explanation and are really just common sense. It’s also worth remembering that old cliche: "You only get one chance to make a first impression".

Here is the list (Erika’s remarks appear in italic) with some of my personal thoughts added:

1 – Having your phone out or texting.  “It doesn’t get worse than this. Nothing screams “I’m waiting for something better to come up” than a cell phone on the table waiting to be answered. A corollary to this one is actually answering your phone on the date. Try (as hard as it may be) to put your phone in your bag or your pocket for the entirety of the date”.  It’s almost become “standard procedure” to have an “emergency” or “bail-out” call set up ahead of time, but once you are comfortable and feel safe, put the phone away and show the other person the courtesy of your undivided attention.

2 – First date sex.  “For men, it makes you look like you only want one thing (and maybe you do). For women, it makes you look easy”. While either or both of you may have those thoughts running wild in your brain, give those hormones a rest. It’s assumed that one reason you are meeting this person is because there is some level of sexual attraction. Showing respect to the other person means a great deal.

3 – Talking about your ex.  “If you say nice things about your ex, it looks like you’re still not over him/her. And if you say bad things, it looks like you’re still not over him/her and you’re bitter. Lose, lose. Plus, people don’t want to feel like they are being compared to someone else on the first date (or ever, for that matter)”.

4 – Being late (more than 15 minutes).  “People run late – it happens. But if it does, please call to let your date know before the start of the date. Texting is insufficient”. This is nothing more than common courtesy.

5 – Being rude (to a server).  “No snapping your fingers, no yelling for the waiter or waitress, and no treating the servers like second-class citizens. Red flag!” How we interact with other people says a lot about who we are and goes a long way toward the type of impression we are making.

6 – Drinking too much.  “People have a tendency to divulge secrets or commit dating no-no #2 (or likely both) when too much alcohol is involved. Don’t let it be you”. It could also result in you committing a lot of other dating “no-nos” and look bad doing it.

7 – Splitting the bill or letting the woman pay.  “You remember the game of “pick-up check.” The guy should pay on a first date. Whether you like each other or not, it’s still a date after all, and chivalry is not dead”. Personally, I always offer to grab the check first, but I have been on dates where the lady was adamant and insisted on splitting the bill. It’s also not necessary nor worth it to make a big scene about who pays.

8 – Work talk.  “It’s certainly ok to discuss work, but not for the entire date, especially if you don’t like your job”.
  
9 – Mother talk.  “Leave your mom out of the date. Especially for men, it may make you look like a bit of a mama’s boy”.  This will also depend on how you feel about your mother. It could come out worse if you start bad-mouthing her. The same could be said for “Father talk”. You don’t want to make a guy feel like he has to compete for “pedestal” space.

10 – Talking about marriage.  “Great – you like each other! The last thing you want to do is to bring up marriage and scare the other person away. (The same goes for talking about, or naming, your future children)”.  If you are seeking a long-term relationship, it’s ok to broach the subject to see how the other person reacts, but let it go until a much later time after that.

Here are some other things to be aware of that are mostly self-explanatory:  Bad breath, Lousy tipping, Talking too much about yourself, Being “fake” or not being yourself, Smoking (if its not known beforehand).

Is there anything you would add to this list?

To learn more about Erika Ettin and A Little Nudge, you can visit her website:  http://www.alittlenudge.com/

"I look forward to reading and responding to all of your remarks, comments, and questions. I truly enjoy helping people and hope you will share your experiences. Meeting someone new and dating should be an exhilarating, enjoyable, pleasant experience and a lot of fun!"

Christopher T. Smith is an online dating consultant and the author of Let's Meet Our Match - Your Complete Guide to Success in the World of Internet Dating. His book shares many of the experiences he has had as an actual user of Internet dating sites. His valuable expertise and advice has helped many people overcome the difficulties of online dating to have a more pleasant, happier, and stress-free experience. To learn more about Christopher and the book, you can visit his website: LetsMeetOurMatch.com